By Mike Papantonio
December 11th, 2012
Kudzu is strangling native plants and trees all over parts of the south. In some places, its destroying vibrant forests that have flourished for hundreds of years. It’s a disgusting parasitic plant that devours damn near everything in its path. It provides virtually nothing positive or good in the communities where it is sucking the life out of entire local ecosystems.
These days when I drive by a stand of trees that is slowly being strangled by Kudzu, the scene always looks like a metaphor for the way the GOP is being hopelessly, brutally strangled – in fact murdered – by a tiny out-cropping of Kudzu-like Teabaggers.
When I see the scene of a small forest being suffocated by the uncontrollable spread of Kudzu, I visualize that once Grand Old Party being reduced to dead wood, shrubs, and twigs by Teabag parasites.
Its impossible to have any sympathy for the big GOP dying elephant because, after all, they invented, they helped birth the very political parasite that is gobbling them up. It was the Karl Rove crowd, the Jim DeMint crowd, the once-cocky Kochs who tried to graft, tried to cross-pollinate the Teabag parasite with what was once the proud party of Abraham Lincoln and Dwight Eisenhower.
The cross-pollination required grafting ignorance onto old and crotchety, and cross-pollinating prejudice and crazy uncle intolerance with a truckload of naked hate. But hey, it worked. They created their own spooky breed of a crazy Kudzu-like parasite. They named it the Republican Tea Party. And now they have to watch as their Frankenstein Kudzu-like parasite gobbled up their entire 150-year-old political party.
And in the spirit of pure schadenfreude, I can’t help but giggle out loud. I have a smile on my face right now.
So what’s the net effect of teabag Kudzu strangling the GOP? First of all, the inside the beltway Republican types are so humiliated by it that they are trying to convince the media to ignore it by starting their laughable and desperate movement called the No Labels movement – this is the absurd brainchild of Republican insiders, long-time Republican hacks who are so embarrassed by what the GOP has become that they are suggesting that the media abandon labels – like old, irrelevant, angry, irresponsible, hateful, imbecile where it comes to political party labels.
Well of course, we can’t blame them. The other affects of the GOP’s death by parasites is that tea party radicals are quietly being pushed off of key committees in Congress. The Michelle Bachmann type loonies, the moonbats who show up on TV talk shows and complain that Obama is a Kenyan Muslim OR that Obama is sending UN soldiers to America to take our guns OR Obama has FEMA prison camps set up for conservatives OR Obama is intentionally trying to bankrupt America because he is a Manchurian candidate. All these oddball tea party types who showed up in Congress after the 2010 midterms are finally beginning to be identified as parasitic Kudzu – as an amorphous anomaly that is rapidly, aggressively strangling the vision, compassion, and intelligence that once could be identified with the GOP.
Boehner and McConnell both realize that the game is up, that America is thoroughly nauseated by the flawed, buffoonish riff raffs that the Karl Rove, Rush Limbaugh and the Koch Brothers dragged into the home of the GOP. Like a stray cat dragging in a diseased rat.
Even Fox News took the remarkable step of asking the Turd Blossom Rove and the toe fetish freak Dick Morris to leave the endless line up of oddballs at Fox.
Is it all too little, too late for the GOP? Is God finally punishing the gaggle of clowns who tried to label themselves as the party to God? Is it a bad omen for the GOP when most GOP leaders and political commentators finally have to admit that the party has gone too far, and pure demographic statistics show that they have reached a crazy uncle tipping point of no return?
Are we really hearing old reliable GOP apologists blaming Rush and Glenn Beck and the Fox Newsies for their pathetic predicament?
Did Jim DeMint, the head bagger in the Tea Party movement, really just resign from the Senate for a better opportunity, OR because he realizes he helped leave the GOP in shambles? Even DeMint reads enough to know the analogy about big furry rats and sinking ships.
This year, entire forests will be decimated by an ugly parasite weed called Kudzu. And my prediction is that even those forests have a better chance of survival than the already rotting wood that has been destroyed by the lunatics who themselves the Tea Party.